


Waiting for a better christmas

by Annie_Nyx



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Freeform, Reylo - Freeform, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 08:10:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13119660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie_Nyx/pseuds/Annie_Nyx
Summary: it's christmas, and rey is alone trying to stay strong, in the last month she break up with ben, and everything become shity.#####This is for nottheyounglings :D





	Waiting for a better christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NotTheYounglings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotTheYounglings/gifts).



> Hi, this is my first fic here and also is in english im not native soo sorry for any mistakes. ENJOE!

The music sound sad in her ears, every note, every word remind her everything they have been, what could be. She feels kind of pathetic for listening sad songs and not happy christmas songs, but she didn't have the guts to stand up, go out with her friend and enjoy herself, and listen to happy sweets song about love and christmas, no. She want to feel this sad in this moment.

The last month was a nightmare, in the uni the semester it was finishing so she has to send her dissertation, the last thing in her student life, the thing that would convert her in an Ingenier, the last step in her journey. But it was hell. She didn't have that state of mind to finish it, to send it, she was lost in a serie of memories, song, letters, gifts and kisses.

But she did it, between big fat tiers, Little screams, and a lot of punches, she end the uni, alone, without her friends, and without her boyfriend… fromal ex boyfriend. If she was certain of something is that she don't need anybody, that she can do all by herself. And this was the proof. But she wasn't happy about it, she was so deep in her thoughts, so deep in her memories, and the photos, that all she feel in that minute, was sorrow, sadness, she was so alone and almost unpropost.

The dorms where empty, this was the last month she had permission to use it, everyone else was gone about a week, they were in there family houses, in there homes, in there rooms, where they belong. But her… she didn't belong anywhere now.

Rey get up and heat the thermo to make some instant soup and feel less miserable. She look outside her windows, it was snowing and it was beautiful, the little dots of snow make everything less sad and more bright. For a moment she imagine a tall figure, a masculine one, all in black, making contrast with the snow, and his face directed to her window with a smile and kind eyes. But there was no one, just some squirrels and birds.

If she was sincere with herself all she ever want it was him, standing in her door, and apologizing, saying he regret everything and want her back. He kissing her with desperation and desire and forgetting all, all the fights, all hopes, the future, the past, forget it all.

But that is not gonna happen, she is so stubborn that she wouldn't have him in the same way she had, she want a man not a scare boy.

##&##

All he had to do, is send a message, make a call or just show up, he knows she wouldn't mind, she will be trill, but it was not fair. She wanted to suffer, to feel the break up, to be apart, and he was going to respect that like he never did before.

Because he love her, and one of the things he learn from her it was respect. Even if his and her happiness depend of it, even if he feel alone and sad. Even if he want her in every aspect. He has to respect her decisions.

His mom was devastated with there break up, and told him in every opportunity she has to tell him. Making him feel too much sorrow and impotent. Because no one understood, what has happen. Why now?

The thing is, she didn't feel the same way about him, she said she loves him, but needed to be apart to see for herself if this feeling was enough to continue together for her. And he fucking understand all of it, but that doesnt mean he feel less bad about it.

All that he can do is wait, waiting with his heart in hands ready to throw it away, cry like never before, and be empty, feeling a love that was not reciprocated, a love that was fading, a love that only him feels. A love that only him wants to save.

It wasnt fair for anyone.

##&##

If it was for him, he will be in Rey room in that instant, but she was such a pain in the ass, that she banished him from her place. He knew it was all because of ben, and that makes him furious, that little girl was suffering because someone love her too much, and a little boy was suffering as well because he thinks he deserve it.

And there they were, watching his best friends in the world making each other sad without a real propouse.

Finn was in the door trying to make up his mind to go with rey, and he was trying to not call Ben and scream at him. what a couple…

“Finn, love… if you go, she will be soo mad, that maybe she will make you a real peanut with her bare hands. and you know it” He squeeze his phone, trying to think about Finn and not Ben.

“i know i know, but she is alone! and she…. she dont deserve it, she has to be happy, like us.” Almost with tears in his eyes, he was really affected by what was happening to Rey. 

“Finn, you can not do anything more that support her, listen to what she has to said when she is ready, and be there, but if you are gonna be like a santa claus of relationships, im gonna be the one breaking up with you.”

“I just want to see her happy” said with a sad tone in his voice, making his heart cringe. 

“Just as much as I, I want to see both of them happy, hopefully together, but is not our chose, is not in our hands to change this. is in hers. just hers and ben knows it, and you knows it…. so let it be, love.”

##&##

Taking a bath it was the best options she had, between sleeping and watch old movies. All she can think was leia, the present she has brought to her. The present leia give her before the break up it had her on the edge of collapse, she want to run over her house and cry with her, and curse life and ben. But now she feel in other state of mind, she need to do something right, something good, and all she can think was his ex adn her almost-mother in law.

She dress herself with comfy clothes, put some sketchers, and take her keys, it was mad, but maybe she can go to leia’s and maybe ben was there, it was just 2 o’clock, and it was obvious that he was at work.

Her car was cool as hell, and all she had was a big coat, some gloves she didnt like, and leia’s present. it was not crazy. She had to go the the house because leia was awesome, and she didnt deserve being ignored by her.

The road was full of cars and people carrying bags and boxes full of presents for their families and special ones. But made it in about 15 minutes. the house look the same, big and beautiful, full of lights and trees all cover in snow.

She feel nervous thinking about what leia was going to say to her, or how she was going to react, but she ring the bell anyway. The barks of chewie sound with the bells, and also leia’s attempts to shush her dog.

When she open the door her face light up with a big smile. “Rey! Sweety! oh, what a surprise, come, come in darling, ohhh was thinking of you!” it was inevitable to hug her, inhale her perfume and feel at home. 

Leia led her to the living room where she was watching her shows, she turned down the volume and look at her with a big smile and kind eyes.

“I wanted to come and give you my gift” she said puting out of her bag a little present.

“Oh rey, you didnt have to, but thanks its a nice touch. Thanks for coming”

“thanks to you for receiving me, i was kind of afraid of you being mad at me”

“Dear, never, i love you too much to feel that way about you, i miss you very much, but you are here now” She took her hand and squeeze a little. “I was just about to get lunch, did you eat something sweety?”

“No, i didnt, but dont worry, im ok, im going to get some food latter.” She didnt want to force anything.

“Nonsense! Come on, lunch with me im alone and it will be soo good if you join me, please me, Rey.” She had not way of saying no to her. so she assent and sit in the couch.

“Im going to go to the kitchen you wait here and tell me if something good happen in the telly.” And she disappear behind the kitchen door.

Chewie was trying to jump over her to be pet, so she let it and stroke with affection, it was a really big dog but a really loving one, she always care for him, even take him to walks with Ben and bath him.

Leia came back with the plates and put it in the coffee table to lunch and watch her shows, she never miss any of them when she was home resting.

“I call Ben, he was so pleased to know you are here, he send greetings and hoped to come home early but he is at work almost till 7, and ask if you were going to stay long or go fast, i said i didnt knew.” she said with a sad tone, but with a smile. “Rey, how do you felt about everything? im soo worried about you two.”

“i feel sad, but i think being apart its good, im calm, and thats all.”

“Ben has not being the same, he is always grumpy, even more than before, and almost spend all his free time in the play or with me, he only sleep in his bedroom and nothing more, not like before.”

“Im so sorry for him, but im confused about all of this. There is something in my guts or anywhere in my body that tells me that is wrong, that something is wrong, but i dont know what. I love him, but i dont know, i…”

“Sweety, you dont have to explain me anything, i get it, im just concerned that you two are suffering and maybe it doesnt have to be that way, you two were so happy, carring and loving, that none of us, your friends, his friends, me and obviously chewie dont understand anything about your break up. I only hope that you two can be happy, hopefully together”

“I know i want that too” She smile, Leia start to eat and talk about her show and things that had happened to her at work, it was comforting behave like always and enjoy the company. Her company. 

They finish lunch and continue talking about everything, the governor, politics, some domestic stuff, and sometimes about Ben, when she stop suddenly and smile at her.

“Its Ben, he came home” She stand up slowly and wait for him to open the door.

She almost panic, but she calm herself, it was only Ben, just 4 hours before he said he was coming back, and that was all, he was not doing anything weird, just coming home with his mom.

“Hello mother” he said opening the door and kissing his mother in the cheek.

“You came early, i was expecting you till 7, young boy.” said with a sever tone, but with a smile.

“I was tired, and there was noone there so, i decide to come early.” he look at her right in the eyes and she feel like losing her heart at once. “Rey, Hi” His smile was a kind and big one, his eyes sparks with a different glow than before, and she feel the need to run to him and kiss him but she just sit there and wait. He come to her and hug her with delicacy, and felt like heaven. “ Well im going to change and come here, Im hungry”

“Well you are almost lucky, we eat it all. sorry” she said mocking him

“well i will have to eat your leftovers” and go up stairs.

“He is very happy to see you, even came early to home, almost run! my son really miss you Rey, and you do too.”

She didnt want to run and left, so she stay a little longer, Ben came back and serve himself lunch and sit with his mother, just in front to see her.

They talk a little and laugh about uncle luke, and chewie. And when their eyes cruce she smile as him. it was what she need it in this moment and she didnt knew.

“Ben, would you go to the supermarket and buy dinner?”

“Sure mom, do you want me to go now or later?” He take the dish and go to the kitchen.

“Better now, so i can cook sooner” 

“Ok” he take his car keys, and look at her. “Would you like to come with me, Rey?” She feel nervous again and all she can think was a big yes.

“Sure” She said almost as it wasnt a big deal. Leia look at her when ben wasnt looking, and give her two thumbs up and a nervous smile.

She put her sack and go just behind him, he smell so good, she want to bury her nose in his collarbone and inhale. But she control herself, and just follow him to the car.

In the car he was smiling and looking at her with joy. 

“Its good to see you.” she said honestly. she was very glad.

“yeah, i feel it too” He said putting in march the car.

“I wasn't expecting to see you. Your mom said you come till 7.”

“Yeah, i know, but i was alone… and… well i just wanna com home, soo…” Said while driving. “Did you wanted to go before i came?”

“It was not like that, just… I came for your mom, and give her my gift and the go home, just that”

“Ok” He said calmly.

The rest of the road was just shitchat, but it feel good, it feel right, even just like before, he touch her in many opportunities, in the low back, in the arm, and the hand. She had to control herself to not jump over him and take him right there in the candy corridor.

In the car he did not start immediately, he look at her with love and need, took her hand and kiss her. 

“I missed you so much.” he said with a smile. She just look at him, trying to say other things that she was thinking weeks ago, but she just wanted to hug him and never let go.

“Me too” she let the words go with a whisper. 

They go back home in silence but looking at each other expectant, waiting for one of them to fall and take it all, but neither of them wanted to be the first. He open the door house, leave the groceries in the kitchen and come back to her. Leia was immersed in dancing with stars.

“Do you want to come to my room?” She know what he was asking and before she thought that it was mad she answer.

“Yes” she said with enthusiasm.

They go up stairs and she felt warm all over her body, and need to touch him, she can't deny anymore she desire to come here not just to see leia, but also Ben, and talk to him, kiss him and spend Christmas with him. She was really screw.

His dorm was a mess, as always, so she laugh and look at him and he just shrugged. She sit in his bed and he set near her. They look at each other and smile, knowing what the other was thinking and feeling.

what in hell posses her to end a good and loving relationship with ben? The man was gorgeous not in a traditional way, but she was crazy about him, about his big red lips, his lashes longer that hers, and his eyes. She was so attracted to him. there were just 5 centimeters between the two of them and all she wanted was just in front of her. So as all she wanted in life, she go and get it.

He look at her with surprise but received her with joy, and a kind kiss. But they can't deny the passion they still feel for each other. She sit over him and felt the warm need in his trousers, and she just let go all the emotions and just carry on in the need she felt inside of her, the need for him to touch her, to make her feel good and loved.

“I feel so intoxicated with you, fuck rey, i wanna do it, i fucking need you, please let me” she didn't respond but continue with the kissing and touching, she didn't wanted to talk right now. “Just tell me, tell me you gonna stay for diner and for the night. be with me tonight.”

And just like before “I will, i always will Ben” And kiss him harder pushing him into the bed.

They laugh and kiss, and all feel right, there was not space to doubts or insecurities, there was just love, need and care.


End file.
